What do you want on your Tombstone?

What do you want on your Tombstone?  No, I’m not taking your pizza order.  I’m actually asking what you would like to be on your tombstone (or headstone) if you could leave a message that would tell people who you were, where you’d been, or what was the greatest life lesson that you learned.  Something to think on…

Recently I was watching a travel video on YouTube and a family was visiting a cemetery and they were discussing that they wished there was someway to know something about the people buried there.  How could they find out something about how someone lived when only the usual information -name, date of birth, date of death- was shown on the stone? I know that headstones are expensive and I would imagine, having never bought one,  the more you have engraved, the more expensive they are going to be.  The main commentator for the video remarked how he thought he would like to include  a url (internet address) on his stone with information to give anyone interested a look into who he was, how he had lived, his legacy.  Wouldn’t it be nice if included on the stones was some hint or insight into the person they now represent?

So, if you could, what would you like on your tombstone?  What message or wisdom from the greatest lesson you’ve learned would you like to impart?

Tombstone of Stephen and Susan Ruddell

I found this example of a non-traditional headstone with a lot of history.   It reads:

“STEPHEN WAS CAPTURED BY THE INDIANS AT AGE 12 IN REV. WAR WHEN RUDDLES STATION, KY. WAS ATTACKED BY THE BRITISH UNDER CAPT. BIRD. HAD ALL ” WHITE BLOOD”‘ WASHED OUT AND WAS MADE A WARRIOR HE MARRIED A SQUAW AND RETURNED TO KY. AFTER THE TREATY. ORDAINED A MINISTER OF THE GOSPEL 1810 FOUNDED THE URSA CHRISTIAN CHURCH OTHER WIVES: CATHERINE KINGERY 1797 SUSAN DAVID 1809 RACHEL NIGHTSMITH 1834

Quite a bit of history and a look into the life of Stephen Ruddell.  If you’re interested, more on his life can be found here.  CLICK

Now, since this is a Tarot blog, I will go to my newest deck, the Bonefire Tarot by Gabi Gingus-West, and seek guidance.  I ask, “what message should I leave for others, on my tombstone?”

Bonefire Tarot

The Four of Coins

At a glace, we see a pretty miserable looking fellow stranded, or hiding in a a tree.  But, he does seem to have a lot of ‘stuff’ in the tree with him.

Bonefire says:  Hard work for little reward.   Find time to make changes.  Acceptance and compromise.  Paralyzed and not in the flow.  Hard-won home comforts.  Unable to receive praise. 

To me, these are obviously lessons I still need to work on.  Due to, and because of recent events, I have felt the lack of security that six months ago I didn’t question.  But as time has passed and the more I “sit” with our current situation, the more comfortable I become with the options available and difficult decisions we may be faced with making.  I realize this is ambiguous and won’t make much sense to anyone reading this, but the Tower energy that we’ve been experiencing has changed my perspective and what seemed impossible, now seems very possible.  Now, whether and to what degree this all plays out is yet to be seen.  But, if our situation turns out to be less than ideal, I am in a much better place (mentally and emotionally) to deal with it.  I am pretty fluid when it comes to obstacles, but acceptance and compromise can be hard won when your basic survival components are threatened.  This can be a hard lesson in letting go, a journey in finding out what is really important and really necessary.

The man in the tree is not miserable, but contemplating.  From this tree he can get a better view of where he is, where he’s been, and where he’s headed, or where he would like to be headed.  I think going through our daily routines we find that we’ve been on auto-pilot and after awhile you look around and wonder, how did I end up here?  Or you drive home and can’t remember the trip.  You know you started at point A and now you’re at point B, but what happened in the middle?  This doesn’t sound all that appealing to me and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be continuously going between point A&B with no middle.

I will have to put some thought into what message I would like to leave so that anyone who visits my resting place (if I am buried) leaves with a little knowledge of the person my tombstone represents.  You know what they say about the dates on headstones, right?  Something like, “on your tombstone the most significant data isn’t your date of birth or your date of death, it’s the dash -and what it represents- that comes between.

So, what do you want on your Tombstone?