I am feeling somewhat embarrassed and ashamed of myself tonight. Just today I read two beautiful blogs about unconditional love and what it means. Donnaleigh and SouthernSky both wrote thought provoking and motivating articles on this high ideal. It was very easy for me to sit in my recliner and read their words, agreeing with their sentiments and spouting my own 2 cents worth. Two cents was all it was worth too.
As I was cleaning up the kitchen tonight and thinking over the nice dinner and evening I shared with some of my family, it dawned on me what a hypocrite I had been. Let me explain. My oldest son’s birthday was earlier in the week and I asked him what he would like for a B’day dinner. He wanted beef and noodles, so I made a pot of beef tips and homemade noodles, fresh green beans, mashed potatoes, and 2 loaves of zucchini bread. A lot of food for the 6 of us, plus I sent some to my daughter in law to have later. Leftovers were put away in the fridge and plans made to take some to my mom and mother-in-law tomorrow.
That’s when the 6 of Pentacles came knocking on my door. We were all sitting in the living room when a man I had never seen before come to the door. He was shirtless and appeared dirty. Waiting for him at the edge of the yard and along the road, stood a woman and a young girl. The man asked if we had any scrap metal we wanted to get rid of. I told him I did not think so. My husband came into the room then and I told him what the man wanted and he proceeded outside. I knew my husband is working on cleaning out our garage. But I didn’t even consider asking him, I just wanted the man to go on his way. When I think back now on my reaction, I realize how un-comfortable the situation had made me. We don’t have much. My husband lost his job a year ago. But we are making it and we are a lot better off than a lot of folks, like this man standing on my porch. He and his family were canvassing the neighborhood asking for scrap metal to turn in for cash.
So here I sit in my clean-enough-house, with my AC running and my belly full. I think back on today’s earlier events and how I could have handled that differently. I like to think that if two of my grand children were not at the door with me and that grandmotherly protection mode kicked in, that I might have reacted differently and with more compassion. I hope I would.
I give thanks everyday in knowing how blessed I am. My family is growing, we have roofs over our heads, food on our tables, and we are pretty healthy. We know that if any of us are in need we can count on each other to help get over any rough spots. I am blessed indeed.
I discovered it is pretty easy to sit back and think about helping our fellow man or neighbor, to talk about loving unconditionally and acting with compassion. It came as a shock to me that it was more difficult to act when faced with someone in need. It wasn’t that I was unwilling to help, it was a gut reaction that I didn’t even realize until I thought about it later. I will endeavor to act with more compassion in the future if the 6 of Pentacles ever knocks on my door again.
In the meantime; Happy Tarot’ing!